The BBQ Boys
In a small frontier town called La PIne in a corner of the county of Deschutes, Oregon, there is an outpost of the county Sheriff’s Office. This is no ordinary outpost, sun bleached and covered in a thick layer of desert dust; A few old squad cars baking in the summer heat; A breeze gently blowing small dust devils about the parking lot.
No folks, this is not even just the Deschutes County Sheriff’s Office La Pine substation. It is the home of “The best darned BBQ in the county” and you, pardner, can take that to the bank!
In this pleasant local hour upon hour and shift upon shift is spent smoking and preparing the perfect meat. A true labor of love and dedication. It must be something to behold. Meals that would embarrass a big city chef are prepared and served to joyous diners.
Unfortunately, you can’t dine at this delightful establishment for this is the house of the “BBQ Boys”.
“So how did this exquisite palace of smoked meats and delectable cuisine come to be, and how can I get a plateful of that meaty goodness?” You ask expectantly.
As always we will start at… err… the start.
The first thing you, good reader, must understand is that the south county patrol district has always been a place unto itself. It is fairly isolated and the folks working down there see themselves as south county folk. They are good people and they work hard to keep law and order among the citizens of the South County — Oftentimes no easy task.
However, something changed. In recent months a new supervisor appeared and some teams on nightshift began preparing each other meals. As time went by, the meals became more and more elaborate.
Indeed the new supervisor had a reputation for being quite the foodie, and with him he brought, what must have been fantasies of owning his very own restaurant.
This supervisor was soon joined by another newly promoted supervisor; one with whom he had become fast friends while working in the Sheriff Office criminal detectives unit.
Things proceeded along merrily. Pictures of epic meals were proudly shared by the south county chiefs with other deputies within the Sheriff’s Office — Sometimes to the deputies’ amazement and sometimes to their muttered grumblings.
Then it all took a turn for the better or worse — Depending on your perspective.
Our favorite lieutenant was assigned to the city of La Pine. This is of course none other than Lieutenant Joe Deluca who was featured in “Slushygate & The Tactical Slushy Machine.” With Joe’s appearance on scene, things shifted into super duper turbo charged mode.
The purchase of a fancy Blackstone grill was promptly approved by the patrol division leadership under Captain William Bailey. and this was quickly added to the La Pine substation.
A commercial beverage storage unit was purchased from the “going out of business sale” of “Coach’s” restaurant in La Pine.
In addition a commercial food preparation counter was purchased. Again with the approval of the patrol division leadership. We are not certain if this was purchased brand new or at the sale at “Coaches Restaurant”.
We are forced to ask where Joe Brundage, the Sheriff’s Office Business Manager stands in all of this? According to his resume he should be the financial adult in the room. We ask if Mr. Brundage realizes his fiduciary duty is to the citizens of Deschutes County and not the Sheriff’s Office? Especially since Sheriff Nelson recently went before the county budget committee to ask his office’s property tax rate to the maximum allowed level.
When considering all of this cooking equipment keep in mind, that on an average day, there are only four or five employees working at the substation.
This did not sit well with the rest of the patrol division units, the nickname “BBQ Boys” was coined for the south county district and questions were being asked about why the La Pine substation was getting all these goodies.
To mollify these rising voices a grill was purchased and dropped off at the Sheriff’s Office Terrebonne substation to be assembled by deputies. Last we heard it was sitting in parts in the office not yet fully assembled. Hopefully it is by now.
Now if there is one thing you can be sure of it’s that if Joe DeLuca is involved then Captain Billy Bailey is not too far behind.
Thus the whole awful saga seems to be fully supported and funded by the good captain who must have dipped into the magic money bag called “tax payer funds” to pay for what is essentially a commercial kitchen — One that lives happily in a vehicle bay adjacent to the La Pine substation.
We are absolutely not against community cookouts — especially for a good cause, and we are against the government poking its nose into such private functions. We actually think they are a great idea, mostly because we like eating food.
However the kitchen at the La Pine substation was recently used to cook for the La Pine high school football team as posted on the Deschutes County Sheriff’s Facebook page. So a government agency is putting on an event for civilians.
This naturally begs the question: Was there a permit obtained for this event as required in Deschutes County? We would hope the Sheriff’s Office would follow the same rules they are required to enforce.
Let’s not forget the food served to the La Pine students was prepared with equipment stored and used in a location in which toxic chemicals such as gasoline, diesel fuel and other chemicals, as well as other heavy equipment are and have been stored and used. A location where commercial kitchen equipment may not have been sanitized or cleaned to required food sanitation standards, and where the food cooked on this equipment is being given to kids.
Of course the geniuses occupying the window offices on the second floor at the Sheriff’s Office have thought this one through. Well in a kind of half-assed sort of way. They figured folks would start ask about the new “BBQ joint down south” and they came up with an answer only they could come up with.
So if you were to corner Billy Bailey and ask him about it, he would tell you the good folks in the South County don’t have the same meal options as those working in other districts — particularly on night shifts.
This may be true; however, it is not so different in other districts where restaurants are not open at extremely late hours. Besides, what ever happened to bringing your food to work? Many deputies happily do just that.
Regardless we have to ask does Bailey’s answer justify the kind of high end commercial kitchen equipment purchased by the Sheriff’s office, especially considering there are only ever 4 or 5 people on duty at the La Pine substation at any given time? We think not.
Well folks now you know the story of “BBQ boys and the best darned BBQ in the county”. Perhaps the next time you find yourself in that small frontier town called La Pine and you smell some delicious meats smoking, you can follow your nose to the Sheriff’s substation. But don’t plan on stopping in, because this sure is not for regular folk like you, for this is the house of the “BBQ Boys”
We would be remiss if we didn’t point out the majority of deputies and staff have taken a very dim view of the goings on at the La Pine substation. We know it must be frustrating for them to watch this sort of unprofessional behavior and its poor reflection on them and their agency. They are unfortunately often muzzled from any criticism or complaint by the retaliatory culture that has become endemic at the highest level’s of the Sheriff’s Office.
It is a sad situation all around, and we are reminded the seed of corruption is often unethical behavior.
We close by quoting the Deschutes County Sheriff’s Office policy on standards and ethics:
“Members of the Deschutes County Sheriff’s Office are granted a public trust, which requires that they consistently demonstrate the highest degree of integrity.”
If this story proves anything, it is certain members of the Sheriff’s Office have failed completely to uphold this standard.
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